Recovery means short sleeved shirts and tank tops in the summertime – no longer afraid to showcase my arms and no longer too cold to do so.
Recovery means going out to dinner with my family or friends and actually focusing on the conversation at hand, rather than obsessing over the food.
Recovery means living in at UW this summer and meeting new people while getting my Certified Nursing Assistant degree.
Recovery means that my family no longer has to worry over me and no longer has to shuttle me between appointments.
Recovery means ice cream outings with my brother, ordering the ice cream I am craving at the time rather than the lowest calorie option.
Recovery means continuing on at UW, working hard towards my ultimate goal of getting into the nursing program.
Recovery means staying with my friends at college and living my full life with them, rather than just getting by.
Recovery means rediscovering the things that I am passionate about: dancing, running, and hiking. All hobbies I am currently restricted from.
Recovery means a future and my eating disorder means living day by day, just getting through the hours. I do not want to live that way.
Recovery also means gaining weight, it means eating more than I am comfortable with and facing my biggest fears. It means avoiding exercise for the time being and missing out on opportunities I wish I could partake in. But if I remind myself what is on the other side of recovery, that reality is a million times more powerful than the hardships I will have to endure to get there.
In the comments, let me know what recovery means to you. The amazing thing is that this process can mean so many different things for different people. It is motivating to find a goal, and work towards it.